oh my feeling~

it's late in the evening

she's wondering what clothes to wear

she puts on her make up

and brushes her long blonde hair......

this song appears in my mind again

no reason

just lovin' it

hmmph...

feels complicated

i like you care

but end up with i hurt you

and now u try to not that care

and i feel bad

totally

i prefer the way but it hurts you

u modified the way and i feel bad

i try to accept anything u ask for

i try to do anything u requested

i tried and tried and tried

but the nightmare

felt so real

i can feel the word

i can feel the tears

i can feel i hug Patrick and tears flow down on it

i can feel my crying sound

maybe i'm too sensitive

but it's just too real

until i got no idea on it

my heart feels complicated right after the nightmare

till now i still remember the dream

everything in it

last time u dreamed

after all it happened

and now..

my turn

i do really believe there'll be someday

because i felt your protecting shield around u

i felt it so strongly

feel like i got not enough energy to break through it

my mind n heart keep on whispering

" DON'T GIVE UP"

and yet

i'm doubting myself

my ability to break it

u build it in a higher speed than mine

i'm unable to chase on your speed before your protecting shield successfully built

i'm just a failure

i don't know what i want

i only know what is fun

i like fun

and yet u hate my fun

of course

i'm trying to sacrifice it for you

but i'm not sure whether you are willing to wait that day..

by stop building your shield

i hate it

hate it to the max

she added me in fb

i saw her pictures

feels like threatening me

looks nice

looks great

even i feel like wanna get close to her

no wonder you said

feels better after chatting

she just look like the type u like

take care of you

think for you

be a little woman right beside you

heart feels so heavy now

hard to breath

i wish i could escape from these bad feelings

i wish you never had been to Singapore

i wish u did change earlier than me previously

unfortunately

whatever i wish now

never ever able to happen

because it's happened in an opposite way

oh my feeling

even myself

unable to describe it in words

hatred!

**heavy-ing**

~jocelynn_kityee~