LIKE vs DISLIKE

this is the moment

whereby

i like

and dislike too

sometimes

the silence makes me feel so great

the environment makes me feel so good

the night view makes me feel so relaxing

but

there's some moment

i look out with tears rolling around my eyes

i look far with a heavy-weighted heart

i look further with a hope about freedom

there should be some way

to free myself

out of anything

i wish to

and yet

i'm lost now

right here

and right now

i miss my old times

i miss my previous stuff

i miss everything that belongs to me initially

i'm able to put effort in giving up

i'm able to lie to myself to live better

i'm able to do anything to fulfill everyone's wish

and now

i'm lost

finally realixe

i'm lost for 21 years~

GREAT!

something i like might change into dislike

on the other hand

some thing i dislike might change into like

ridiculous!

a cool laugh upon myself

i might think too much

and might think too little

off and on site

i'm lost

somehow

i love getting lost

like you are playing a game - walk out from the maze

once you able to walk through it

you will be the winner

sarcastically

i'm still the loser

and no map for me to refer

in order to become a winner

i'm doubting

is it a challenge

if it is

wow!

that a big challenge

it's a difficulty

as i'm weak to handle these

i'm thirst of caring

i'm thirst of loving

and....

i'm thirst of everything

am i too greedy

or

it is just not enough

or even never exist

sometimes

i feel lucky

to possess everything i have by now

but sometimes

i feel so bad

that i seem like too greedy

feel that everything by now is not enough

obviously

many things on me changes

appearance

attitude

action

social

everything

who changes me

no answer for that

or maybe...

someone might has an answer for me

once i wish to isolate myself from everything

from people

from stuff

from task

at last

i feel that

isolating does not suit me well

i cannot stand for being alone in such along period continuously

i cannot stand for being too free until i feel bored

i cannot stand for being weak in academic while others did so well

i try to work harder

but sometimes there are blocks everywhere

letting me stay tune or move backward

instead of moving forward

~jocelynn_kityee~